Every brunette needs a blonde best friend.

Rave.

Since I've been in such a ravingly good mood lately, I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on with the positivity. Anyone that personally knows me, knows that life has been dealing me my own fair share of cunt punts. I've had more ups and downs in the last 3 years than I can count. I've made great friends and I've also cut out the people who started to hold me back. But no matter what is going on, there has been one constant that's always been there for me.

Sarah has been my best friend for the past 10ish years. If there is one person on this planet that understands my obnoxious, crude, OCD ways... it's her. I've never had to apologize for who I am, which I know 99% of the time is completely uncalled for.

Sarah is a fun sized blonde haired shoe whore, likes shopping and she bakes more than Martha Stewart. She's overly obsessed with Ellen. And let's not forget about the glitter... she would probably snort glitter to maker herself poop pretty. (because obviously snorting things makes it come out your butt... everyone knows that.)

I am a brown haired Doctor Who obsessed nerd. (hence my awesome TARDIS background) I spend too much time playing video games. I am extremely foul-tempered. I love all things British. I read about 5 books per week and I also have an extremely unhealthy obsession with my dog.

In my opinion, these differences are what make us awesome. We can go a month or two without seeing each other, but it's always the same. We always keep in touch, whether it's talking about pooping or explaining 50 Shades of Grey lingo... like this:

Sarah = green. Me = blue.

sidenote: I accidently sent that to my boyfriend first haha

He was thoroughly confused.

Speaking of text coversations, ours are ALWAYS inappropriately awesome. I wish we could share them with the world but they are hardly ever PG (as you can see from above). I've been informed that she is screen shotting them all so she can use them whenever I get married... and that's not even in the works. She has some evil plot to use them in her Maid of Honor speech. I feel bad for any old people with tight morals. I'm probably gonna piss my pants while they will have strokes or something.

I could honestly go on and on about our friendship for the past 10 years. I could tell you about the contract we have that binds her to me when I have babies. (She's gonna be my live in nanny and bake me cookies all the time). I could tell you about the time she slapped CT in the face. I could tell you about the time I visited her at Kent State. The shenanigans we've had are entertaining.

What it comes down to is this. My life wouldn't be complete without her. I'm extremely blessed and grateful that I've had a constant rock for all of these years. Sarah is always my voice of reason, since I tend to fly off the handle 99.123213% of the time. I'd rock prison orange for her. She's the sister I never had. And now that I've gone and lesbo'd this post up... I'll leave you with some embarassing pictures. :)

Obviously this was when it was cool to go to

the mall on Friday nights. (8th grade)

I honestly don't even remember what we did this night.

I probably ended up getting white girl wasted like always.

 

 

 

This is what happens when we're white girl wasted.

I will never drink another little beer again after this night.

BTW... since she's a cryer, she'll probably get teared up over this. OR... She'll walk around like Johnny Bravo with her chest puffed out like the biggest cockwad on the planet. Either one works for me. :)

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

Rant.


Ahhh December, January and February. My 3 least favorite months. I wake up and leave for work and it's dark. I get off work to come home and it's dark. It's cold as tits. (if you're wondering how cold that is, it's too nipply for my liking... see what I did there). It snows too much, though lately the past few winters it's been few and far between. Christmas decorations and music start before Thanksgiving. Mariah's All I Want For Christmas Is You plays 1000000 times a day.

BUT... of all the things this season brings, the thing that bugs me the most and puts me in my Scrooge mood is not these things. NO. It's the fact that my birthday is three days before Christmas.

Now, before you get all, blah blah it's not so bad. Tell me... were you named after Christmas? In case you were wondering, Kristen Nicole seems to be a nice little reference for Christmas Noel.

Have you ever received a BirthMas present? No. (just a little FYI, a BirthMas present is the bastard love child of Birthday and Christmas). You're probably all cozy and happy with getting 2 different presents throughout the year. I get jewed over and get one. I've been salty since I realized what was happening, circa probably 5 years old.

Does snow ruin your birthday? Probably not. I'm a total woman driver when there is snow or ice spewing all over the place, therefore my ass stays indoors. Unless somebody wants to be a doll and DD my white girl wasted ass around. Then I'm game.

Ultimately, I hate this time of year. My impending 25th birthday is 5 days away. Lucky for me I have a best friend who reminds me of how old I'm getting and such. I'd love to be one of those hippie-end-of-the-world-apocalypse loving people and hope that the world really does end on 12/21/12. I would forever love to be closer to 20 than 30. I'm currently going thru my mid 20's crisis.

This weekend, I plan on doing a 2 day drinking binge and putting myself into an age forgetting stupor. I will be surrounded by the people I love the most. Come 12:01am on 12/22/12, I will be a quarter of a century old. So here's to getting another year older. I plan on being 25 every year for the rest of my life. :-)

This is really the only picture I found appropriate. I had a terrible time setting up our stupid tree up this year. 2 hours, 10 broken ornaments and enough profanity to make a sailor blush later, our jew ass tree was finally up.

 I refuse to take it down this year. Mom is on her own.