They call me Aunt Kiki.

Rave.
I'm gonna start out by saying that I love children. Although I don't have any plans at this time in my life to ever get pregnant on purpose, because all of the little shits I deal with at work are horrible, I do need to say I have the cutest "nieces" in the world. I say "nieces" because these girls are my cousins' children. They are my world. One day if I have kids I hope they are awesome as these two. I will always be their Aunt Kiki. :)

Mondays.

Rant.

I hate working on Mondays.

Let me tell you about my best friend.

Rave.

You know you have an awesome dog when she makes silly faces with you. Being up early isn't half bad when this cutie keeps you company.

What must be shall be.

Rave.

Over the next two days we will be saying goodbye and celebrating the long, wonderful life that my Grandma Matthieu had. I have learned so many invaluable life lessons from her. She is truly one of the greatest women I have ever had the honor of knowing.

I love you Grandma. One day we will eat iced oatmeal cookies and watch Ray Stevens movies again. I'll even let you chase me with the yard stick you always threatened to whoop me with for being mouthy. Til then, you'll just have to keep an eye out on me. :)

Oh you fancy, huh?

Rave.

New hair. New bangs. New color. Spiffy.

P.S. Ignore that crater of a pimple on my chin. It's an asshole and won't go away.

Trust? Ain't Nobody Got Time For That.

Rant.


I am a very trusting person. I am a very open person. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I say what I feel and think. Obviously you've figured this out by now. That's just how I am. With these qualities, you can imagine that I get myself trampled on all of the time. You would think that by now I would learn to stop giving trust and make people earn it. But no. I always see the good in people. It's my biggest flaw.


That all being said, nothing grinds my gears more than when bitch ass people can't shut their fucking mouths about shit they don't know anything about and then don't have the common decency to say it to my face. I fucking hate cowards. (And I was going to try to do this with the least amount of cuss words possible. I should get an A for effort). Not everyone was raised with kick ass parents like I was. I've always been encouraged to voice my opinion no matter wrong or right. And as you can tell, I always have a lack of filter about what I'm thinking.


I just think that people should own up to what they do and say what they think or feel. Stop being fucking pussies about everything. Granted, not everyone is as blunt as I am. I can come across as very judgemental and brutally honest. And that's fine with me. I will never change that about me. At least you won't ever worry about what I'm thinking.


I guess this is a good lesson to learn. It's just emotionally and mentally exhausting to feel this way all of the time. I guess I just put so much faith and trust in others because that's how I treat people and expect people to treat me. Guess it's just wishful thinking. I keep forgetting that people are shit.

 

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

Every brunette needs a blonde best friend.

Rave.

Since I've been in such a ravingly good mood lately, I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on with the positivity. Anyone that personally knows me, knows that life has been dealing me my own fair share of cunt punts. I've had more ups and downs in the last 3 years than I can count. I've made great friends and I've also cut out the people who started to hold me back. But no matter what is going on, there has been one constant that's always been there for me.

Sarah has been my best friend for the past 10ish years. If there is one person on this planet that understands my obnoxious, crude, OCD ways... it's her. I've never had to apologize for who I am, which I know 99% of the time is completely uncalled for.

Sarah is a fun sized blonde haired shoe whore, likes shopping and she bakes more than Martha Stewart. She's overly obsessed with Ellen. And let's not forget about the glitter... she would probably snort glitter to maker herself poop pretty. (because obviously snorting things makes it come out your butt... everyone knows that.)

I am a brown haired Doctor Who obsessed nerd. (hence my awesome TARDIS background) I spend too much time playing video games. I am extremely foul-tempered. I love all things British. I read about 5 books per week and I also have an extremely unhealthy obsession with my dog.

In my opinion, these differences are what make us awesome. We can go a month or two without seeing each other, but it's always the same. We always keep in touch, whether it's talking about pooping or explaining 50 Shades of Grey lingo... like this:

Sarah = green. Me = blue.

sidenote: I accidently sent that to my boyfriend first haha

He was thoroughly confused.

Speaking of text coversations, ours are ALWAYS inappropriately awesome. I wish we could share them with the world but they are hardly ever PG (as you can see from above). I've been informed that she is screen shotting them all so she can use them whenever I get married... and that's not even in the works. She has some evil plot to use them in her Maid of Honor speech. I feel bad for any old people with tight morals. I'm probably gonna piss my pants while they will have strokes or something.

I could honestly go on and on about our friendship for the past 10 years. I could tell you about the contract we have that binds her to me when I have babies. (She's gonna be my live in nanny and bake me cookies all the time). I could tell you about the time she slapped CT in the face. I could tell you about the time I visited her at Kent State. The shenanigans we've had are entertaining.

What it comes down to is this. My life wouldn't be complete without her. I'm extremely blessed and grateful that I've had a constant rock for all of these years. Sarah is always my voice of reason, since I tend to fly off the handle 99.123213% of the time. I'd rock prison orange for her. She's the sister I never had. And now that I've gone and lesbo'd this post up... I'll leave you with some embarassing pictures. :)

Obviously this was when it was cool to go to

the mall on Friday nights. (8th grade)

I honestly don't even remember what we did this night.

I probably ended up getting white girl wasted like always.

 

 

 

This is what happens when we're white girl wasted.

I will never drink another little beer again after this night.

BTW... since she's a cryer, she'll probably get teared up over this. OR... She'll walk around like Johnny Bravo with her chest puffed out like the biggest cockwad on the planet. Either one works for me. :)