Every brunette needs a blonde best friend.

Rave.

Since I've been in such a ravingly good mood lately, I'm just gonna keep on keepin' on with the positivity. Anyone that personally knows me, knows that life has been dealing me my own fair share of cunt punts. I've had more ups and downs in the last 3 years than I can count. I've made great friends and I've also cut out the people who started to hold me back. But no matter what is going on, there has been one constant that's always been there for me.

Sarah has been my best friend for the past 10ish years. If there is one person on this planet that understands my obnoxious, crude, OCD ways... it's her. I've never had to apologize for who I am, which I know 99% of the time is completely uncalled for.

Sarah is a fun sized blonde haired shoe whore, likes shopping and she bakes more than Martha Stewart. She's overly obsessed with Ellen. And let's not forget about the glitter... she would probably snort glitter to maker herself poop pretty. (because obviously snorting things makes it come out your butt... everyone knows that.)

I am a brown haired Doctor Who obsessed nerd. (hence my awesome TARDIS background) I spend too much time playing video games. I am extremely foul-tempered. I love all things British. I read about 5 books per week and I also have an extremely unhealthy obsession with my dog.

In my opinion, these differences are what make us awesome. We can go a month or two without seeing each other, but it's always the same. We always keep in touch, whether it's talking about pooping or explaining 50 Shades of Grey lingo... like this:

Sarah = green. Me = blue.

sidenote: I accidently sent that to my boyfriend first haha

He was thoroughly confused.

Speaking of text coversations, ours are ALWAYS inappropriately awesome. I wish we could share them with the world but they are hardly ever PG (as you can see from above). I've been informed that she is screen shotting them all so she can use them whenever I get married... and that's not even in the works. She has some evil plot to use them in her Maid of Honor speech. I feel bad for any old people with tight morals. I'm probably gonna piss my pants while they will have strokes or something.

I could honestly go on and on about our friendship for the past 10 years. I could tell you about the contract we have that binds her to me when I have babies. (She's gonna be my live in nanny and bake me cookies all the time). I could tell you about the time she slapped CT in the face. I could tell you about the time I visited her at Kent State. The shenanigans we've had are entertaining.

What it comes down to is this. My life wouldn't be complete without her. I'm extremely blessed and grateful that I've had a constant rock for all of these years. Sarah is always my voice of reason, since I tend to fly off the handle 99.123213% of the time. I'd rock prison orange for her. She's the sister I never had. And now that I've gone and lesbo'd this post up... I'll leave you with some embarassing pictures. :)

Obviously this was when it was cool to go to

the mall on Friday nights. (8th grade)

I honestly don't even remember what we did this night.

I probably ended up getting white girl wasted like always.

 

 

 

This is what happens when we're white girl wasted.

I will never drink another little beer again after this night.

BTW... since she's a cryer, she'll probably get teared up over this. OR... She'll walk around like Johnny Bravo with her chest puffed out like the biggest cockwad on the planet. Either one works for me. :)

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel.

Rant.


Ahhh December, January and February. My 3 least favorite months. I wake up and leave for work and it's dark. I get off work to come home and it's dark. It's cold as tits. (if you're wondering how cold that is, it's too nipply for my liking... see what I did there). It snows too much, though lately the past few winters it's been few and far between. Christmas decorations and music start before Thanksgiving. Mariah's All I Want For Christmas Is You plays 1000000 times a day.

BUT... of all the things this season brings, the thing that bugs me the most and puts me in my Scrooge mood is not these things. NO. It's the fact that my birthday is three days before Christmas.

Now, before you get all, blah blah it's not so bad. Tell me... were you named after Christmas? In case you were wondering, Kristen Nicole seems to be a nice little reference for Christmas Noel.

Have you ever received a BirthMas present? No. (just a little FYI, a BirthMas present is the bastard love child of Birthday and Christmas). You're probably all cozy and happy with getting 2 different presents throughout the year. I get jewed over and get one. I've been salty since I realized what was happening, circa probably 5 years old.

Does snow ruin your birthday? Probably not. I'm a total woman driver when there is snow or ice spewing all over the place, therefore my ass stays indoors. Unless somebody wants to be a doll and DD my white girl wasted ass around. Then I'm game.

Ultimately, I hate this time of year. My impending 25th birthday is 5 days away. Lucky for me I have a best friend who reminds me of how old I'm getting and such. I'd love to be one of those hippie-end-of-the-world-apocalypse loving people and hope that the world really does end on 12/21/12. I would forever love to be closer to 20 than 30. I'm currently going thru my mid 20's crisis.

This weekend, I plan on doing a 2 day drinking binge and putting myself into an age forgetting stupor. I will be surrounded by the people I love the most. Come 12:01am on 12/22/12, I will be a quarter of a century old. So here's to getting another year older. I plan on being 25 every year for the rest of my life. :-)

This is really the only picture I found appropriate. I had a terrible time setting up our stupid tree up this year. 2 hours, 10 broken ornaments and enough profanity to make a sailor blush later, our jew ass tree was finally up.

 I refuse to take it down this year. Mom is on her own.

Mushy love post.

Rave.

 

So I've been sitting here trying to figure out what the hell I want to bitch about but I honestly can't think of anything. For once in my life everything seems to be going the way it should and I owe all of this to my wonderful boyfriend, Nate.

 

Now I know what you're thinking, oh look here comes some random mushy post about love and shit. And yes you're absolutely right. I love this man with every single piece of my being. He is the most caring person I've ever met in my life. If you need anything, no matter what time it is or where you are, he just drops what he's doing to help. I was sick as hell a couple months ago, having

a horrible day, and he just came over at 1:00 in the morning to rub my back until I fell asleep because he knew it would make me feel better.

Who does that? Nate does.

 

I've never been more comfortable around anyone in my life. I feel like I've known him forever. Well, technically I've known him for a good 8 years or so. We have such an easy relationship. It's practically effortless. We've not had the first fight or disagreement and honestly I don't see it happening. Not because I haven't tried because trust me, I'm a button pusher. All I get when I try is a "babe I don't know why you're trying to do this right now. You couldn't possibly ever do anything to make me mad."

 

 I love how I can just be me and he loves me for who I am. I'm not always the easiest person to deal with; I know I can be a complete pain in the ass. And I know for a fact that I'm an obnoxious hooligan. He is always just so laid back. This is where we're complete opposites. I am loud, outspoken and all over the place. Nate is quite, observant and just goes with the flow. We pretty much even each other out. Even if I am a complete nerd as he likes to point out.

 

I'll be the first person to admit that I was a mess when we started hanging out. 2011 was not a good year for me. I don't know where I would be had he not been around. Nate is my rock and always will be. He's been there for me through the good and bad and it's such a great feeling to know that I can always count on him.

 

My heart just swells when I think of all the things that he has done for me and the person he is helping me become. He will never know how much I love him. I honestly can't even put it into words. Maybe one day he'll find this entry and read it. I hope he does. Maybe then he'll get a LITTLE insight into how

important he is to me and how completely I love him.  :)

This is Nate and I at his sister's wedding. Such a great day. :-)

How may I help you? Don't answer that. I didn't mean it.

Rant.

Everyone hates calling customer service. Between the lengthy hold times, the stupid automated systems that fail to recognize you request if you even have the teeniest hint of an accent, the outsourced call centers, etc. By the time you get to a living, breathing human being, you're pissed off which is completely understandable. But this is where I come in. I work in that call center and get to deal with you after you've spent 320 hours trying to come through the automated system.I don't want to talk to you just as much as you don't want to talk to me. But instead of making this go as quickly and smoothly as possible, you like to bitch about the automated system for about 5 minutes. And with you nagging for 5 minutes, it's just making the hold for the person behind you that much worse. It's not my fault you cant listen to the damn prompts. If you'd listen you might get somewhere. And no I can't make the automated system more user friendly. Maybe you should make you brain comprehend the English language better or work on your listening skills?!?. It may also be helpful to have the information that you know I'm going to need, like your account number or address. And yes, some people don't actually know their address when they call. (How that happens, I have no idea.) It would also go a whole lot quicker if you would shut your stupid mouth and let me ask the questions I need to know first. I can't do anything with you account until I've verified who you are. This could be the most annoying part about my job. I don't care what's going on at this point. I just need to see if I can help you or not. When I ask for your name, just say it. Don't spell it. I can read. When I ask for your full mailing address, that means give me you full address. Don't stop after the street name, then answer me when I ask you the state, then make make me have to individually ask you the city and zip code as well. And when I ask for your date of birth, don't tell me China. I know that's where you were born, obviously from your lack of English speaking abilities and comprehension of what I'm saying. The thing that gets me is that these people spend their every waking minute thinking of how to make my life a living hell. Oh you were late on your bill? Sorry to hear your hamster died. Let me see if you can get a courtesy late fee waiver for the last 4 months because it was such a tramatic experience for you. Oh your dad died, I'm sorry to hear that. But how many fathers do you have left, you've told us your father has died 4 different times now. When you can't complete their request, they instantly flip their shit on you. Oh I'm a horrible person? Oh you wish that I never have the chance to pollute the world with my offspring because I'M the one that's stupid? Oh it got mysteriously quiet? You think I put you on hold? No. I just put you on mute so I can complain about how big of an idiot you are to my cubemate. I've been called just about every name in the book you can think of. You'd think by now people would realize that we do have the authority to help with your account, whether it be overriding the denial of a late fee or changing your due date because you want to change it. But if you call with an attitude, I'm definitely not going to go out of my way to help you. And I'm sure that's the same for every person who works in a call center. It sucks enough that we have to sit there hour after hour, taking call after call. You could at least try to act like a mature, decent human being instead of someone who was raised by a pack of wild animals. Don't get me wrong, I really do love working in customer service. I've been working in it for 8 years and will continue to do it because that's what I like to do. And believe it or not I do love helping people and am probably the nice person you get when you call because I override ever request I get if it's denied. I'm that person. But anyways... just thought I'd get that all out my system. It'd just been one of those days where I felt like bitching. I get to go back and do this all over againt tomorrow for 10 hours. Maybe this week will be better. Who am I trying to kid. It's a viscious cycle that's never ending. And with that, I sign off.... xoxo. :)

This is actually me. At work. And this is what my job does to me.



If live gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone with vodka and have a party.

Rave.

Every single time I want to get super classy, I whip out the vodka. It's always such a good idea at the time. (like right now for instance, currently enjoying a glass of vodka/lemon berry hawaiin punch). But for some reason, vodka always does me dirty. And by does me dirty I mean I wake up laying in the hallway cuddling a stuffed animal with no pants on. It's super smooth going down and goes with just about anything. You can drink your own weight. There is no aftertaste. I feel just fine, having a good time, dancing (well trying to) to some LMFAO or something. Then I sit down to play some retarded game, and when I get back up to piss for the 10000th time.... BOOM! On the floor. Vodka has accompanied me on some of the best night of my life, as well as my worst. But I always come back for more. I love you vodka. Tonight I'll be drinking with my awesome family and my amazing boyfriend. To that, I tip my glass and toast. Here is to the nights I'll never remember with the friends I'll never forget. I'll see you guys in the morning. And with that.... I sign off. xoxo *hiccup* ;)

Pretty much depicts how I opened my bottle of Smirnoff vodka tonight.



Awesome dog is awesome.

RAVE!

I hate when I have a long day at work and get in pissy moods. But then all that disappears when I remember I get to come home to the best thing in the world. My dog, Thea. She is awesome.She is a basset hound and I got her about 6 months ago. She is just a sassy bundle of awesomeness. She's also the world's best snuggler. I can legit hold her like a baby. Yes, I'm aware of the weirdness of that. She loves it though and I love to spoil her. She loves to be close to people, almost to the point where she acts like a cat. She's obviously not by any means but I act like an old cat lady with her lol. I'd have a million of her if I could. Basically I'm just being a sappy pussball today, but with a dog this amazing waiting for me when I get home, who can blame me. I'm gonna go watch a chick flick now and maybe eat some ice cream. Jking. And with that... I sign off. xoxo :)

And the Snuggler Of The Year Award goes to.... Thea McSquishyface. :)

Can You Hear Me Now? Good!

RANT>


Alright.... I'm a gamer. I love my xbox. It makes me get all warm and fuzzy inside. I love playing online because I love interacting with people. I'm a Chatty Cathy. Whatevs. I play Left 4 Dead and Left 4 Dead 2. Anyone who does xbox live play, for most of you who play this, know the importance of teamwork and communication. Now, I understand if you don't play online a lot and just jump on now and then for shits and giggles. But please, I REPEAT, please get a goddamn headset. They're like $8 at Walmart. The whole part of playing with other people is to communicate and conquer the zombie hoard. How the hell am I supposed to get to the safe house when a Smoker has me constricted off the side of bridge. Who's gonna help me when some zombie is trying to curbstomp my ass like a ghetto person from the mean streets of Detroit. You'd hear me saying it.... If you had a goddamn headset. No. Instead you're going to sit there and lollygag around counting how many bullets you have left or just enjoying the view. I hope the spitter spits the skeet all over you, then I hope a charger pounds your ass into the ground in the spitter goo. Okay I think I've gotten my point across. And with that... I sign off. xoxo :)

Seriously, the stupid cat even gets it. 

Hellloooooo Nurse!

So I've decided to try this whole blogging thing since I have tons of stuff on my mind I'd like to vent about and not enough people around to listen. Just kidding I'm not going to pour my depressing life stories on here like most other bloggers about how my life sucks blah blah. Rubbish. My life rocks. I'm just going to try to share my weird ass sense of humor. Hopefully it makes someone smile out there. And with that.... I sign off. xoxo